Book 2, Post 2: Resilient

After reading “Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness” by Rick Hanson, I learned several useful tips and strategies to build inner strengths when confronting life challenges. The book emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, mindfulness, and gratitude, and explains how these elements can help us remain calm during stressful situations. Although it all seems relatively straightforward, I didn’t realize how intentional you need to be in order to proactively practice these three elements on a daily basis. Hanson talks about how we can hardwire these psychological resources (compassion and gratitude) into our system by resting our attention on them with mindfulness. We can then draw on these resources during periods of hardship and as we meet with daily stressors. 


Hanson also believes that every individual has three fundamental needs: (1) safety, (2) satisfaction, (3) and connection. When we are faced with a challenge, it’s important to “be mindful of which particular need—for safety, satisfaction, or connection—is at stake” (Hanson 122). I find this particularly useful when dealing with issues in interpersonal relationships. By reflecting on which of our needs are being compromised, we are much more likely to approach the situation with clarity and purpose. Hopefully this leads to more effective communication and problem-solving strategies.


Lastly, Hanson emphasizes the importance of childhood experiences in how we cope with hardships as adults. Every child naturally and implicitly asks again and again: “Do you see me?” “Do you care about me?” “Will you treat me well?” As a result, the foundational layers are laid down during the first years of our life as we build countless experiences and develop an understanding of our needs. This made me reflect on my own childhood and how my parents raised me. All in all I had a great childhood but there were a few instances where one fundamental need or another was not being. It’s interesting how those memories remain so strong even after I’ve grown up. These early experiences can significantly impact how we view the world and interact with others as adults. Recognizing this can help us understand our own reactions and behaviors better, particularly in stressful situations. It can also guide us in re-framing our thoughts and responses based on a more informed understanding of our foundational needs.


I will definitely start to incorporate Hanson’s strengthening exercises into my daily routine to develop a strong core of mental calm and resilience.

Comments

  1. Aiden ZMarch 23, 2024 at 8:35 PM

    Hi Wen-Hsin Kuo,
    I really liked how you recognized the three fundamental needs of safety, satisfaction, and connection. It really provides a framework for addressing challenges especially interpersonal relationships with clarity and purpose. Reflecting on childhood experiences for example, Dr. Hanson shows how early experiences shape our coping mechanisms and interpersonal dynamic which I really liked how you highlighted this in your post. Overall great post!

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  2. Angelita ChewMarch 25, 2024 at 2:48 PM

    Hello Wen-Hsin! I really enjoyed reading your post and found the breakdown of human fundamental needs between safety, satisfaction, and connection especially interesting. The idea of taking a moment to judge a situation and consider what of the 3 are at stake before jumping into action seems like a great idea and gives me a new perspective on how I can view the events in my life. Thank you for also sharing your reflection of your childhood experiences and how the lack of one need or another in past situations lead to longer lasting memories for you.

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